Little cousin Gunner came over to play. I packed a cooler like we were gonna be out there for several days and forgot what an 11 month old’s time frame was. Or maybe there was just too much estrogen in that pool.

These kittens are gonna get a hard dose of reality once they transition to the garage, but they’re way too small yet.

In the past two nights, we’ve caught a raccoon and possum, so we’re having to lock the adult cats up in the garage after sundown.

On Sunday morning, over donuts, we yelled “Happy Father’s Day!” and he said, “Just trapping coons to take care of muh family.” Ah, my Laura Ingalls Wilder daydream come true.

Ruthie goes to summer school on Wednesdays and last week, Annie insisted on sitting on the front porch with frozen blueberries and her Berenstain Bears book to wait for her. She had about 4 hours to go.

The passive aggressive notifications on my phone have been making me laugh, followed by the obvious.

Went over to AJ’s house to meet up with Mandy, visiting from out of town. Their garage door was open so I just walked in, because I like to force the feeling of being small town neighbors even though I’m aware it’s entirely rude. Everyone was trying to put the kids to bed upstairs and AJ’s oldest saw me, smiled sweetly, then walked upstairs to tell his mom there was a stranger in the living room. Backfire!

After we settled in outside, it went downhill (in a good way). Chilled Rosé on a summer evening is now going to be my go-to.

Why I started twerking with my belly pushed out is beyond me, but at least I had a captive audience. Which by the way, if you’ve never sat on AJ’s back porch with the fan blowing overhead, dang. Even though I ended up leaving at 1:30 (on a weeknight, gasp!) I could’ve easily sat there for another few more hours. It’s like it lulls you into a time warp.

A couple days later, Mandy’s crew came over to hang out with us. The girls made a fort.

We had another little visitor today who dug into our dress up clothes with complete abandon.

Her mama and I talked about lots of stuff including Gertie. She reads this blog and I mentioned that I need to start changing the narrative about me and G. It has been a great month, and it mostly has to do with me accepting where she and I are at. Finding small (sometimes microscopic) victories and celebrating them loudly. I sometimes feel silly getting crazy excited that she says the h sound when playing my hair. Or like today, I was reclining on the couch and she was standing up on my legs holding unto my fingers. She moved her leg off mine and off the couch and I said, “Oh no Gertie, watch out!” So she did it again. And again. And I laughed because she’s ornery. Those are such tiny moments of connection that I have to be intentional about magnifying. Also, she laughs hysterically whenever Annie snores. Sharing a room has its benefits.

Saturday was all about the horses. Ruthie asked if we could set aside money each month to save up for one.

To be honest, this isn’t how I picture myself when I get into a carriage: sweaty, hot, and that familiar wide flat butt in everyone’s faces. I’m not sure which side it comes from, but as I like to say, I descend from a long line of farmers’ wives. That girth would be an asset in the 1880s, so move over you dainty little things! (Or more likely, let me bump you over.)

I pretend the stagecoach ride was for them, but you know it was for me too.

Our downtown had pony rides too. All of this was free!

Today we left church thinking we’d eat at Crystal Bridges. Walked the mile trail to the front doors in the most beautiful weather. It almost reminded me of fall. But it for sure reminded me of our wedding day 12 years ago. The weather was perfect, like today.

They each wanted pictures with the bride and groom.

The restaurant has a special on Sundays that require reservations which we didn’t have, so we walked back to the the little downtown Walmart and got some food to go. Ruthie said, “We thought we were going to Crystal Bridges, but we ended up at Walmart!”

That pretty much sums up our life, Ruthie dear.

After 12 years, we’re still keeping it spicy.

I think she might be the most positive out of all of us. I’d even venture to say, the most everything of all of us. And she’s five. Our Annie.

I’m thankful for our intimate birthday breakfasts. She was expecting streamers (Walmart sold none that I could find) and said, “I really wanted that paper coming down from the ceiling, but that’s okay I like that sign too!” Ruth got her a birthday tiara and that made up for the decorations. She slept with it in her bed the night before so she’d remember to give it to Ann the next day.

Ruthie was in charge of hiding all the gifts and we thought she’d hid the wrapping paper too because we couldn’t find that either. Even after sending Ryan out to the van at 11pm we couldn’t find it, so I scrummaged around and ended up using Christmas wrapping paper. This is a new parenting low.

Annie. How you find joy in everything and always say “But that’s okay!”. It’s inspiring to me.

She picked out a cake instead of donuts and you bet that’s what we had for breakfast.

Ryan had to miss the breakfast celebration. He’d correctly predicted that Annie would sleep in, which she did, and he couldn’t wait around. Ruthie was very upset about it. Secretly I was sad too, but it gave me an opportunity to talk to her about sacrifices. And it allowed me to build him up in front of her, how lucky she is to have a hardworking dad who provides for his family.

He ended up taking the afternoon off and they excitedly put on their new swimsuits to go to the city pool.

Our fireplace is packed with furniture because we also had our carpets cleaned. It’s fitting it happened on her birthday since she’s our main mud collector. (And mom, are you proud that Dan Patrick is playing in the background?)

We went twice to the pool, once before lunch and once after dinner. We’d gotten our hands stamped and immediately on the way home Annie wiped hers off. I went for a run in between and spent most of it blowing on the stamp so sweat wouldn’t smear mine too.

We loved talking about Annie’s arrival with her over lunch. On her due date there was a tornado warning that sent my parents running into a casino near their RV park. Drenched by the time they got in the door, they stood in a bathroom with a bunch of strangers. We holed up with Ruth in the closet under our stairs. I remember my midwife saying she fully expected a call (barometric pressure pushing babies down and all that) and because she didn’t, she knew Annie was staying put. Exactly a week later, it was tornadoish again. I listened to the swirling whirling of wind outside before falling asleep. She was our easiest and quickest delivery – 90 minutes from my first contraction at midnight to holding her in my arms at 1:30am, then watching the sunrise with Ryan in bed after the midwives had left. I remember feeling so incredibly at peace for those few hours before Ruthie woke up and family arrived.

The highlight for Annie was the lazy river. We spent probably two hours going around and around. Ruthie wanted to jump off the diving board but quietly climbed back down three times. The teenage boys waiting in line smiled sweetly at her, letting her pass. Ryan and I took turns going down the waterslides while the rest sat at the bottom cheering. Gertie’d sit on the side of the pool and when we’d hold our hands out, she’d fall forward. Her “jump.” But she’d always wait until she saw our hands. It doesn’t take much to make us go on and on about the littlest detail.

We ate Chick-Fil-A at Annie’s request and she declared the day to be the best birthday ever. I was going to make a joke about keeping the bar low, but then I was thinking of how happy we all were together as a family, so I can see how just that alone can be the best gift of all.

It’s 3am and I’m writing this. Annie had crawled into our bed and I woke up with her foot on my cheek. I love her, that Ann Julia.