Or not, in my case.

It’s almost a curse: the love of crafting without the skill. It’s to the point that Ruthie now thinks hexagons are circles (“Watch Mommy cut a circle!” “Mommy, I didn’t know circles had sides.“) Even if those exact words weren’t used, the furrowed brow while running her finger along the jagged paper edge exposed her growing realization that her mother is not crafty. So mostly I just play Beastie Boys “She’s Crafty” and dance with her. Good enough.

But for some reason, when Ruthie started a Mary Poppins kick, I jumped headfirst into that chalked drawing of happiness and every few days we’d do a craft together. There was absolutely no preparation. I’d watch a scene and then run to the other room and grab some supplies.

One day I’ll have it all laid out the night before and feel like I’ve got it together. Until then, I’ll stick to my ramshackle crafts.

Here’s the MP loot. I convinced Ruthie the shiny tape on the hat were drops of water from when it rained. She’ll believe anything. I love this age.
First up was the robin Mary let into the house. Now picture a six year old boy standing in the middle of a front yard with his finger in the air. You see him in the morning as you go to work and don’t really pay him any mind. But on the way home from work, he’s still there, finger outstretched, unmoving. Oh, it’s just a new statue the neighbor put in. Nope, it’s Ryan, waiting for a robin to land on his finger because he just watched Mary Poppins. If I know Ryan, he waited there a good long time.

Ruthie, on the other hand, didn’t have to wait long. Nope, she got her very own bird-duck to hold while singing Spoon Full of Sugar. This is her least favorite prop.Next Mary Poppins viewing: the kite scene.

Away I run again and get the same blue paper, because it would’ve been a lot of effort to dig through for a bright green one like Michael’s. You know, literally lifting up 5 sheets of paper. So I just grabbed the top blue one and out I came.

A couple diamonds with a straw taped on the back and ribbon on the front later, we were in kite flying business. I play Let’s Go Fly a Kite and we run around the house. Run and run and run until she goes to sleep. Ah, the hat.

My personal favorite. Ryan was sick with pneumonia during this one. That’s not why it’s my favorite, but probably because she sat with me for at least a half hour working on it.

Ryan says she looks more like the Feed The Birds lady than Mary.

That makes me love it (and Ruthie) more.

..and can’t forget the mushroom umbrella. Stamped to perfection with solid support on the backside: Straws, a plastic fork, and a plastic knife that hangs down for the handle. Again, I convinced Ruth the knife part was the head of the talking bird.

Hook, Line, and Sinker. I’m either a great liar, or Ruthie has already learned to pick her battles.
Annie modeled the hat as well and looked less pauperish than Ruthie. However, the lack of hair really showed off the orbit rim. Speaking of Annie, she turned 8 months last Saturday and is minutes away from officially crawling. She’s doing that semi-caterpillar dragging motion, but just today her she’s started bending her legs under her while pulling across the carpet.

Guess I better vacuum.

Oh my gosh, this was a desperate craft. The ‘let’s just cut out cartoons from the funnies and use the glue stick’ craft. Glue stick = crack for toddlers.

I asked her who certain cartoons reminded her of:

No surprise here, look at the eyebrows:Then one day we were singing Humpty Dumpty and I thought we could do something.

This time though I stepped up my game and brought out colors that resembled the characters.

Uhm, Ruthie did you notice the attention to detail on the broken shell? That’s called being an artist.

However, a true artist knows the rules, and then breaks them.

Boom.

A Dog-Horse:

Sing it with me… All the king’s dog-horses and all the king’s men….

It really has a ring to it.

I don’t know if it was coincidence or not, but after being forced to color the horse, Ruthie ran to the corner to play her piano. There was a plastic electrical socket childproof thing sitting on it, and she pretended it was a drink and downed it like a tumbler of whiskey. Wait, do you even down tumblers of whiskey?
I bet Mozart did.

A composer in the making, my friends. Let’s not dwell on the other possibility.

Pssst, Amadeus is in my top five movies. Watch it. Now.

Or at least watch this clip between Mozart and his rival, Salieri:

We bought this table on craigslist for fifty bones. It was a banquet table and we changed out the legs.
I’d like to fill it up with many more kids and more badly made crafts, but that’s between you and me and Ryan. So basically everyone. We want more and more and more!

Back to Humpty. After the horse debacle, I was scared to go for the king, so we made a crown instead.
complete with jewels.Ruthie took one look at it and ran screaming into the other room.  Actually she was just throwing a fit because she wanted food. Yeah, join the club.

Somehow green beans were an acceptable choice?

When you’re at your wits end, anything will do apparently.

We’ve added some more crafts since and each time they get better and better.

Which means they get worse and worse.

But I’ll let you in on a secret… just like our van, I actually love the ugliness. Don’t tell anyone though.