Double Decker Weekends

Feb26

Woah. These introverts had two weekends in a row where (don’t say it too loudly) people stayed over. I guess we’re only semi-introverts, because we sure do love company.

First up was my sister. She arrived Valentines day, just in time for me to receive a chocolate-covered strawberry delivery from Ryan. It was sweet. I think it was a groupon too. He remembers, when we were dating, me saying, $5 LIMIT! Looking back, I should’ve milked that holiday.

In walked Amy and Wiley. Ruth loves dogs.. and took advantage of following Wiley around whenever she could. And both nights Wiley would lay under the table to hide from her.
SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES That night we celebrated Amy and Des’ birthday. February is the gauntlet of birthdays in our family. Every day from Feb 11 to Feb 15 a birthday is had. Apparently May 7 to May 11 is a happening time between lovebirds.

I can see that. The birds are chirping, the breezes are blowing, the kids are still in school for a couple more weeks so let’s get it on before our energy is zapped all summer, yeah… I see the romance.

Anyway, we had the birthday girls over and celebrated with a sundae bar, complete with a bucket of ice cream and a candelabra.

If you haven’t heard (you must be living in a cave if you haven’t), this is my year for surviving. I was just happy candles were anywhere in the vicinity. I’m scared that Ryan may just get a Bic lighter stuck in a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats for his birthday coming up. I’ve only got three more months to use the Surviving excuse, so might as well get the most out of it.

Candles were blown, ice cream was eaten, and talks of the world;s end commenced. I had just gotten to a peaceful mental place not 2 weeks ago about that stuff. And then they started talking and now I’m trying to widdle every piece of stone I see into an arrowhead so I can “protect my babes.”

At some point we went to sleep and woke up to a cold, frigid day.

Ruthie wouldn’t eat her eggs. It was a stand off and mama always wins.

Ryan wouldn’t do a dare and eat some of Wiley’s buffalo jerky, so he was made to do three cartwheels in the front yard.
The mailman didn’t even acknowledge him.

Snow was still on the ground, so we made a mini snowman.

And Ruthie felt compelled to eat the carrot nose. I was happy she was eating veggies.

After spending a bit of time outside, we laid around and watched movies, one of which was Watcher in the Woods. If you haven’t watched this gem of a thriller, please go do so now. I’ll wait for you.

Done? I know, wasn’t the main girl so annoying? Anywho…

We literally sat and relaxed until Amy left the next morning. It was a rare (and welcomed!) experience for me, but I needed that rest for the energy that was about to come the following day:

My sister Lisa and her two daughters!

There was a three minute window before toys were played with and coloring began. You know I loved it.

I cut up some oranges for them, but Ruthie hoarded them like it was her job.That night we had a very breathy game of “kicking and hitting a balloon in the air without letting it touch the ground.” Welcome to Arkansas, kids, this is your entertainment. It consisted of me and Lisa sitting our lazy bottoms on the couch while the little ‘uns ran around hitting the balloons to us. I pulled a muscle reaching my toe out to keep one from touching the ground. It was pathetic.

It’s my year of surviving. Next year I’ll dive for that sucker.Then we asked Uncle Ryan to read a story.

He pulled many accents out of his arsenal for his captive audience.

Then Elayna read a book and tried her hand at accents.This was the result:Before we went to bed, the girls asked if we could go bowling the next day. I said yes immediately, but then laid in bed wondering how I was going to survive. (It’s all about me this year.) My mind flipped through its mental pinterest and woke up with a suggestion.

Could we make our own bowling alley? It would be top-notch.

I braced myself for looks of disappointment, groans, and maybe an eye-roll, because I was sure they’d read my Mary Poppins crafts post, but apparently they don’t read my blog because they were both so excited! It made my heart happy.

We ate breakfast, cleaned up, and got to it.

Lisa and Kate were in charge of coloring the water bottle pins. Elayna tackled the scoreboard and Ruthie.. I don’t know what Ruth was doing. Just do something and don’t whine. Please!

After an hour or so of prep work, we were ready to go outside under our carport area. The part of the house that I was actually super excited about when we first viewed the home.

Welcome to Boom Bowling Alley!

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Bowling on a sunny day? Yes, please.
Ruthie whined only a little. Nothing a bag of popcorn couldn’t help stop. She robbed the concession stand even though we were all given fake money. Whatever.I was able to not wear make-up and nurse at ease.
Afterwards we ran around, played soccer, and got dirty. It was my favorite kind of day.
The neighbor boy who is Elayna’s age came over to throw a Frisbee and I’ve never seen Elayna run so quickly before. Inside she went, stating that she really just wanted to “finish this page/chapter/series and can’t come back out.” Ah, the flutters of nervousness around boys. Maybe next time.

Ruthie was all sorts of flutters around Lisa’s nail polish. Immediately when she saw them, she said, “I like your nails!” Lisa thanked her and then off Ruthie went to the other room where it became quiet. That’s never a good sign so I checked in on her.

Ruthie!!

Just wanted to be like her auntie. Can’t blame her.
Ruthie could have slept next to her cousin every night if I let her. And when they had to leave, she pulled out her makeshift violin (out of two sticks) and played a farewell tune.
That tune only had to last a few days though, because we invited a family over that following weekend for dinner. Somewhere along the line, dinner turned into a sleepover. They have six kids and if I were barely surviving with just two, I can’t imagine with six. So instead of making them come over and immediately pack the crew up a few hours later, I suggested they crash so the parents could have alone time longer.

Which ended up being 2:30am and in Carolyn time that was like pulling an all nighter. Whew!

But I was strangely perky the next day even without coffee, because it was the most beautiful day outside, ever. Mid-February and I rocked a tank top and my skin got pink.

More girls = more people for Ruthie to stalk. They dove into the dress up box and came out looking awesome.

And why shouldn’t they have? We had a picnic to get to people!
Their dad broke out (our) guitar (that still hasn’t been played by Ryan, ahem) and sang songs for hours while we drank a beer in the sun. Probably the best combo on earth.I heard snapping in a Z-formation behind me and turned around to see Ruth making her entrance. Work it, girl.Magicians arrived pulling The Never-Ending Scarf out of the Hat trick. Afterwards we tried to strike it rich, but only came up with random pieces of metal.As we were lounging inside, something caught my eye and I ran to the window.

Nuh uh.

Forts were in the process of being made, supported by sticks and designed around areas of clover “to keep it comfortable.”

But the kicker was the book laying on the ground.

The Little Prince!

You have got to be kidding me. Does anyone remember when I wrote a whole post on that darn book? Of course you don’t, so let me link it here: The Little Prince post.

Sigh. When I picture Ruthie playing outside by herself, it’s like this. A random book tossed to the side while she climbs a tree wrapped in blankets. You had better be taking notes, young missy.

The family stayed for dinner the next night and then had to leave.

Ruthie never saw them go.

She was out.

But good thing she got some sleep because more visitors came the next afternoon! Jesyka and David! And even more music was played for us. I love these two!

And just because I want to brag on him, David is part of a bluegrassy band called Sons of Otis Malone. You can’t not feel good while listening to them. I dare ya to feel bad:

See? Ya can’t.

All of these caring, funny, talented, and interesting people in our life and we so love having each of them in it.

When I had a mullet for a day….

Feb13

I think it started with a college photo I uploaded to facebook.
That hair.

Whew! And you know I thought it looked good. It was easy to style too, even when I had to use Carmex after the gel ran out, which was pretty much all of the time. And even though it’s now clear that I was pushing the porcupine-skunk boundary to the max, that hair still resonated with me as I uploaded it.

Get out of your funk it said. Do something!

So when both girls were asleep at the same time, I took a shower, brushed my hair forward into a ponytail on top of my forehead and hacked away. No hesitation, no worries, nothing. I’m a cocky son of a gun during the scariest moments.

And why shouldn’t I’ve been, when I’ve got this before/after photo to gaze into:

(Source)

Yep, no need to worry. And look she even got some new specs that magically appeared after cutting off that tail. This is the gift that just keeps on giving, folks. One cut and you’re a knockout.

And then I looked up.

Wait for it….

What the.

Nailed it.

Look at how that gray hair glistens. You can take the girl out of the skunk, but you can’t take the skunk out of the girl.

I quickly ran back into the bathroom and redid the whole process. You know, because more of something is always a good thing? And as I was leaned over the sink about to take the next cut, I heard Ruthie yell at the top of her lungs “I’ve got to go POOOOOOP“. Oh yeah, we’re on day 9 of potty training. Not even two weeks. My response?

“Yeah, go for it Ruth… Your mom’s taking care of an emergency.”

I quickly cut my hair and ran down the hall before even looking in the mirror. She ended up doing everything right, making it into the potty chair, and we had our usual discussion of what animal the poop looks like. She’s the one that started it, I just rolled with the punches. This time it looked like a bunny rabbit. Yeah, cool Ruthie, I gotta go.

I ran back into the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

What the.

I mean, I guess it did look sleeker.

And look at these layers!

No comment.

No, literally. No comments were made. Not even from my 2.5 year old, who is now trained under threat of expulsion that she shall scream “I LIKE YOUR HAIR” when mom comes out of the bathroom for an extended period of time. Because we all know I don’t spend the minimum quota of time required with a brush.

But nope, not a word.

I think she would’ve rather been sent packing into the wilderness and find wolves with better manes than this thing that is currently her mom.

So back to the bathroom I went and I just took the rest of my party hair in one hand and hacked away. It was pretty much Les Miserables all over again.

Though no one paid me for my locks.

Annie tried her best to photobomb the photo to protect your eyes, but I was too fast.

And then it really went down hill because I started day dreaming about my life with this haircut.

Do I tilt my head to counter the diagonal line of the cut in the back? But what if my head stays like that? I would forever be in mid-valley girl head toss.

No.

Should I walk with Annie in front of me at all times, blocking the jagged layers?

But when she’s 16, she’s gonna be heavier, so no that wouldn’t work either.

What if I try to be a hipster and act like this was intentional and you’re actually not cool for having a symmetrical hairstyle..

No. And I think insulted the whole hipster community.

Then I walked through the room and pretended to be a bystander glancing at me.

My raw reaction was the push I needed….

FINE, I’ll go to an actual hairdresser.

Ryan came home and I scooted out the door faster than you could say “…and maybe you should look into highlights…“

I didn’t know where to go, so I drove down the main strip looking for “Walk-ins Welcome” and, aha! I spotted one. Ooooh, and it was so cute too. In an old little home with a handmade “We’re open!” sign in the window. I pulled around the back away from the front windows.

Because… well, because I was driving Ryan’s car. The one he just got in a wreck with. The one with no muffler where it sounds like a freight train bearing down the road. The one where if I pull down the shade thing, all the fluff and dirt from the past 15 years falls on your face. Normally, I’m totally okay with all those quirks, especially if I can hop out with my hair straightened and full-on makeup. But not this night. Nope, I was a ball of self-consciousness. So when I pulled behind the cute little hairdresser house, my stomach sank when a hidden window appeared on the rear wall.

A window where three hairdressers were hanging out.

When I parked, they looked. All of them. And they continued looking. I looked back. We stared at each other for a full minute before I raised my hand in a semi “Yeah… what are you looking at, my HAIR???” move and stuck out my chin. One girl raised her hand back at me and did the same thing.

Oh, man, it is ON, I thought. How dare they laugh at my haircut when I am coming to them for help. Well, they’re not getting my business.

And I reversed out of that parking spot. But because I was driving a stick and because I was a ball of nerves, I stalled. So I had to restart the car and then peel out of the parking lot.

Good riddance, I thought. On down the road I went, refusing to acknowledge that I’d over-reacted. Denial is bliss, especially when truth can be drowned out by a bad muffler.

…and then I saw it. “Hair….And All That Jazz”.

HECK. YEAH. I swerved into the parking lot, but it was Closed.

Dang. It. I had visions of them putting a sequined cloak around me and quietly singing, “Rat a tat tat, rat a tat tat tat” while snipping away.

Ah well, on I drove and finally came to a no-big-deal salon in a random strip mall. But what drew me in was that no one was seen in the salon itself. Dead is probably not the adjective most people want associated with their hair salon, but for me it’s a perfect one.

I walked in and out came this guy that smelt of a too-short smoke break. But he was soft-spoken as I rambled on about my episode.

Little did I know that I was about to have the best hair cut experience of my life. Not even joking. He made one gentle comment about the unevenness of the back and then that was all. I think he might be my hairstyling soulmate, because I hate chit-chatting during a hair cut. He let me sit there with my eyes closed as he slowly worked around my head. When his co-worker came back from her smoke break, she asked him several yes/no questions that he must have responded with nodding or shaking his head, because he uttered not a word and my peace was uninterrupted.

I left feeling shaky like I had just gotten a massage. It was wonderful.

And since I still had the keys and time alone, I headed to a store that I always have to rush through with two kids in tow: Hobby Lobby. When I heard a little toddler scream bloody murder and throw a tantrum, I smiled at the frazzled mom and continued on my slow… slow… slow stroll down the aisle.

Hi. This is me without kids staring at crafty things and home decor:

But let’s take a look at the new do that Smoke Break McGee did for me.

What a happy accident.

On Being Pinterest Worthy

Feb4

Or not, in my case.

It’s almost a curse: the love of crafting without the skill. It’s to the point that Ruthie now thinks hexagons are circles (“Watch Mommy cut a circle!” “Mommy, I didn’t know circles had sides.“) Even if those exact words weren’t used, the furrowed brow while running her finger along the jagged paper edge exposed her growing realization that her mother is not crafty. So mostly I just play Beastie Boys “She’s Crafty” and dance with her. Good enough.

But for some reason, when Ruthie started a Mary Poppins kick, I jumped headfirst into that chalked drawing of happiness and every few days we’d do a craft together. There was absolutely no preparation. I’d watch a scene and then run to the other room and grab some supplies.

One day I’ll have it all laid out the night before and feel like I’ve got it together. Until then, I’ll stick to my ramshackle crafts.

Here’s the MP loot. I convinced Ruthie the shiny tape on the hat were drops of water from when it rained. She’ll believe anything. I love this age.
First up was the robin Mary let into the house. Now picture a six year old boy standing in the middle of a front yard with his finger in the air. You see him in the morning as you go to work and don’t really pay him any mind. But on the way home from work, he’s still there, finger outstretched, unmoving. Oh, it’s just a new statue the neighbor put in. Nope, it’s Ryan, waiting for a robin to land on his finger because he just watched Mary Poppins. If I know Ryan, he waited there a good long time.

Ruthie, on the other hand, didn’t have to wait long. Nope, she got her very own bird-duck to hold while singing Spoon Full of Sugar. This is her least favorite prop. SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES Next Mary Poppins viewing: the kite scene.

Away I run again and get the same blue paper, because it would’ve been a lot of effort to dig through for a bright green one like Michael’s. You know, literally lifting up 5 sheets of paper. So I just grabbed the top blue one and out I came.

A couple diamonds with a straw taped on the back and ribbon on the front later, we were in kite flying business. I play Let’s Go Fly a Kite and we run around the house. Run and run and run until she goes to sleep. Ah, the hat.

My personal favorite. Ryan was sick with pneumonia during this one. That’s not why it’s my favorite, but probably because she sat with me for at least a half hour working on it.

Ryan says she looks more like the Feed The Birds lady than Mary.

That makes me love it (and Ruthie) more.

..and can’t forget the ~~mushroom~~ umbrella. Stamped to perfection with solid support on the backside: Straws, a plastic fork, and a plastic knife that hangs down for the handle. Again, I convinced Ruth the knife part was the head of the talking bird.

Hook, Line, and Sinker. I’m either a great liar, or Ruthie has already learned to pick her battles.
Annie modeled the hat as well and looked less pauperish than Ruthie. However, the lack of hair really showed off the orbit rim. Speaking of Annie, she turned 8 months last Saturday and is minutes away from officially crawling. She’s doing that semi-caterpillar dragging motion, but just today her she’s started bending her legs under her while pulling across the carpet.

Guess I better vacuum.

Oh my gosh, this was a desperate craft. The ‘let’s just cut out cartoons from the funnies and use the glue stick’ craft. Glue stick = crack for toddlers.

I asked her who certain cartoons reminded her of:

No surprise here, look at the eyebrows:Then one day we were singing Humpty Dumpty and I thought we could do something.

This time though I stepped up my game and brought out colors that resembled the characters.

Uhm, Ruthie did you notice the attention to detail on the broken shell? That’s called being an artist.

However, a true artist knows the rules, and then breaks them.

Boom.

A Dog-Horse:

Sing it with me… All the king’s dog-horses and all the king’s men….

It really has a ring to it.

I don’t know if it was coincidence or not, but after being forced to color the horse, Ruthie ran to the corner to play her piano. There was a plastic electrical socket childproof thing sitting on it, and she pretended it was a drink and downed it like a tumbler of whiskey. Wait, do you even down tumblers of whiskey?
I bet Mozart did.

A composer in the making, my friends. Let’s not dwell on the other possibility.

Pssst, Amadeus is in my top five movies. Watch it. Now.

Or at least watch this clip between Mozart and his rival, Salieri:

We bought this table on craigslist for fifty bones. It was a banquet table and we changed out the legs.
I’d like to fill it up with many more kids and more badly made crafts, but that’s between you and me and Ryan. So basically everyone. We want more and more and more!

Back to Humpty. After the horse debacle, I was scared to go for the king, so we made a crown instead.
complete with jewels.Ruthie took one look at it and ran screaming into the other room. Actually she was just throwing a fit because she wanted food. Yeah, join the club.