Ryan used to help with breakfast in the morning. Now he’s already on the road. He used to come home for lunch. Now he brings a lunch with him. He used to be home at 5:30. Now it’s 6 or later.

Now that we live 45 minutes away from his work, we knew the commute would make longer days for us both. Mostly for me, though. I would look forward to those lunches so much. I could plop onto the couch and watch Ruthie talk talk talk to her daddy for an hour. So, to be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to this change.

But can I share something? It has been, dare I say it aloud, lovely.

There was a point while living in the townhome where Ruth basically shut me down. No hugs, no kisses, barely any acknowledgement. But these long days together has changed that around 180 degrees. It’s forced me to be more laid back about the shenanigans (like, this morning she spent a good 5-10 minutes mixing water and milk on her high chair tray. Did I care that it sometimes splashed onto the floor? Heck no! She was serious and quiet, like a science experiment. I’ll take a little quiet in the morning any old day). The longer days have also helped me practice my reactions to fussiness, messes, and other things that can bug me. My goal is to try to be soft-spoken. Did I already break that goal today after she screamed right into Annie’s ear juuuuust at the moment Annie was falling asleep? Yes. And because of that, Ruthie has picked up on my exasperated GOSH DANGIT!!! But there’s always another long day for me to try again.

I no longer look at the clock every 15 minutes wondering when Ryan will get back so I can take a break. I just forge ahead, finding our rhythm, and focusing on these two little ladies. It’s banded us together, Ruthie and me.

Like how on the verge of a fit, I quickly asked Ruthie to play a song on her little piano. Elmo’s world was played over and over again (or her version of it) while I sang it and danced. She would pause, watch me, and laugh. Hooray! I got the approval of a toddler and I should be ashamed at how happy I was about it.

We’ll be going on the road soon.

That’s their play room by the way. It’s already changed from all of these photos, but I might as well show the space anyway.

Her rock collection we started at the townhome:
We color every flipping day. It’s so fun. These long days have forced me to play longer with her too, because I need to the pass the time, for my own sanity. It’s gotten to the point that when our neighbor girl came over to play with Ruthie (she’s 12 and pretty much auditioning for a babysitting job), I missed being the one Ruthie wanted to play with. Because as soon as she entered the picture, mama was toast.

That’s okay.

We also read a lot. Especially when I’m nursing or early in the morning so we can both wake up.
We get cozy, as Ruthie says.
So does Annie once she’s done eating. She loves watching and listening to Ruthie.

Don’t mind my leg. At least it’s shaved.
Speaking of Annie. She’s generally happy. She has the straightest posture. I love holding her, then feeling her pop up and back and then holding the pose. I kiss her face all the time. Can’t help it. She literally lights up when Ryan sticks his face in hers. She would rather suck her entire fist than the pacifier. She kick kick kicks almost all the water out of the bath every time. She could be held all day long and be happy, but she’s also starting to go to sleep more easily with me just rubbing or patting her back.
Would you know that as soon as I took the photo of how “always” (that’s the dreaded key word) happy she is, she immediately started wailing.
It doesn’t stress me out like it used to, though. I feel like I can read her better than I could with Ruthie.

Ruth is still trying to read her though. During one of our coloring sessions, we were both head down on our own page when I heard Ruthie yell, “Annie NO. NO Annie NO!”
Annie’s foot kept bumping into Ruthie’s hand while coloring. But Ruthie never moved, she just kept yelling at Annie.

Oh Ruth, get used to it girl. She’s going to be bothering you all day long pretty soon.

Unpacking is going very slowly. One day it’ll be done and I’ll have a virtual housewarming party. One day.