This is how our evening went.

Ryan came home around 5:30 and we hurriedly ate dinner. Annie likes to screetch sing the moment the fork touches my lips, so one of us sits with Ruthie and eats while the other holds Annie and then we switch. Ruthie doesn’t seem to care the change in facial scenery, unless the chair remains empty for more than 3 seconds and then she screams “Sit Down!!” over and over.  We immediately run over to cut her off from then saying “Off with your heads!” She can be scary about her dinner dates.

Once we cleaned up, I nursed Annie and then changed her diaper. And then changed her diaper. And then changed her diaper. Dang girl, eat some cheese or something. By this time Ruthie was standing by the door repeating “Walk, Walk” increasingly getting louder and louder. I got flustered, prayed this was the last diaper change for a while and threw Annie into the Ergo. Off we went.

We love our walks. Annie immediately falls asleep and Ryan and I can actually talk with minimal interruption. There was a good breeze going tonight and everyone seemed in a really good mood. Kids at the park smiled at us. Parents smiled at us. Dogs smiled at us. The weirdo on the corner smiled at us.

Wait.

He was being a little too friendly there. Something’s up.

And because I literally cannot not look at myself in any sort of reflection, be it a hall mirror, a shop front, it could be a flippin’ puddle, I don’t care. I’ll bend over that muddy water to catch a glimpse of myself. It’s a sickness.

So as we passed a few stores, I of course turned slightly to look out the corner of my eye, and caught a glimpse of this:

What the.

A dirty, thankfully not poopy, diaper was swaying in the wind behind me.

No wonder everyone was smiling. No one is that happy to perfect strangers.

This reminds me of something that happened to me in college. I actually went to bed on time one night and felt great that next morning. So instead of throwing on my normal sweats, I put on a cute button up shirt and skirt. I lived only a couple blocks from campus and so walked everyday to class. As I was climbing a hill, other students were walking down it, past me, with gigantic grins on their face. Normally I would avert my eyes, but today I felt good so I met each one’s gaze with fierce intensity. I must look haaaaaaawt, I thought. I dare you to ask me out! And then girls started to openly smile at me. And it confirmed my suspicions.. I looked so cute that girls also want to ask me out. When you’ve got it, you’ve got it people, I can’t explain it.

So with my head held high, I walked on. And then something made me look down. It was a shadow. Of a bow.

Of the bow on my bra.

There were only a few large buttons on this shirt of mine and the heaviness of my backpack coupled with walking uphill caused the first two to unbutton themselves. It was basically open to right above my belly button.

Let’s all give a moment of thanks that I actually wore a bra that day.

Sigh.

This always happens when I think I’m the most popular. Dangit.

So in other news:

• We went on a a long walk the other day, just the girls and me, and in that one walk we saw a deer, a turtle cross the sidewalk, a red bird sit on a branch within arm’s reach, and a few squirrels. Ruthie was thrilled and still talks about them all.
• Speaking of Ruthie. She could care less if I was around. It’s all about Ryan. Even when it’s just the two of us and I go to hug her, she runs screaming the other way. I’ve been known to yell mutter, “D*mned if I’m gonna let a 2 year old HURT MY FEELINGS” and then immediately blink back tears. Ryan has talked with her about how she loves me and I love her and how she needs to be nice to mommy. So today I hit rock bottom and let her do what she wanted (within reason). You want to get out all of Annie’s diapers and throw them around? Sure!! Isn’t Mommy fun?! You want to have a second cookie? Sure!! Isn’t Mommy fun?! You want to play in the 350 degree oven? Sur- Wait. No, but I’ll let you throw whatever is in the oven all over the kitchen floor!! Isn’t Mommy fun?! It was pathetic. She still went running from me later that night.
• One day Ruthie played with a fly for 5 straight minutes. I was jealous of the fly.
• I’m teaching her how to do the robot. She’s got the straight hands down, now we just need to work on bending the torso over and around.
• Annie poops and nurses. She was 10 lbs 12 oz last week. She is in the 97th percentile in head size. I could’ve told you that during her birth.

Some fun things are happening this week that we’re really excited about. More on that later. In the meantime, I’ve got a daughter to suck up to.