I’m ba-ack. Never did I think I’d miss my cozy dorm room, but it feels nice to be back into its space-confining arms. After more than a week in Kansas, we arrived home last night and are implementing many things for our 2010 selves. Until then, I’ll continue to eat my weight in chocolate.
An item that did not come home with us this year was R’s white elephant gift. Actually, neither did mine; of the $20 worth of lottery tickets, only one was a winner (a free ticket). And even that gained us nothing.
But what those tickets didn’t give us in money, the 3D pear fruit plate gave us in fun.
Here it is, in all it’s glory. Primed to be hung on any proud ceramic fruit displayer’s wall. We were in disbelief when no one tried to steal this from us.
So R tried to give it away as part of his secret santa gift.
R drew our brother-in-law’s name for our annual secret santa amongst the siblings. This year we decided to do a $5 limit. Does anything cost 5 bucks anymore? It was hard, but we at least we were all on a level playing field.
At least I thought we were. I opened up my gift from my brother & his wife and oh, just a “five dollar” COACH purse. Uh.. hope you guys enjoy the homemade laundry detergent. Pretty fair trade, I’d say.
R was clever with his money, though. He knew that Joe (he has allowed me to use his full name) loved his Boulevards. But when R noticed the price was $6.98, he calculated how much he’d have to drink before giving him the present. A few chugs and a couple of leftover backwashes later, we were in business.
As an extra touch of thoughtfulness, R added his lovely pear plate (free of charge) to his secret santa gift.
Joe was thrilled.
A few days later, we found the pear plate hiding in a cupboard.
“Oh, Hail No”, my mom said. “This is not staying in our house.”
So she suggested I wrap up the plate and give it to R during his family’s christmas morning.
And being the dutiful daughter, I did.
R was not as thrilled as Joe. That is, until his father and brother went out to shoot blue rock in their backyard. And this is where the plate’s lovely life took a sad, sad turn.
Please cover your eyes as there are shocking images ahead.
Not a direct hit, but fatal nonetheless. We will miss you, oh gawdy ceramic pear plate. May you go into white elephant gift heaven.
cuethebanjo.com 
Ah shootin' plates with a shotgun in the snow… doesn't get any more "Kansas" than that!
My condolences! It was a lovely plate!
OMG ….can't believe you'd do that to such a beautiful plate!? So much work & thoughtfulness went into that present, we're crushed!!:-)Unc
[…] And being the dutiful daughter, I did. R was not as thrilled as Joe. That is, until his father and brother went out to shoot blue rock in their backyard. And this is where the plate’s lovely life took a sad, sad turn. The Life of a White Elephant Gift « […]