…. You’re the next contestant to get starry eyed by jazz hands and a “grrrrreat price!” For the record everyone, R and I are no longer allowed into Sams anymore. We just haven’t built up the appropriate resistant to “deal, deal, deals!!”.
As we were walking down the aisles, struggling to focus on the list we painstakingly wrote out the night before, we heard on the loudspeaker “Anyone who would like a free paring knife, please meet in front of the deli.” R and I looked at each other, and like any other freebie-grubbing American, …vrrrroooom – off we went. We stood sardine-like in a crowd of about 30 and watched the smoothest smooth-talker give a schpeal on the latest set of knives that “he is about to run out of, so hurry folks, get them while you can!!”
Sold.
You only need to use the urgency scare-tactic on me and I’m done. I looked back at R and begged him with my eyes to tell me how dumb this purchase was. He started off strong, although I could see he was starting to break a sweat with the resistance. I turned back to the speaker and that’s when he brought out the grand prize. A food chopper — free!. I felt a hand squeeze my shoulder and knew that R had broken down. We were gonners.
…but man, will we be able to slice a tomato now!!
We were almost to the check-out line, when I think the upside down patio garden was strategically planted (no pun intended) in front of me. Somehow I managed to convince R that because he had not stayed strong during the knife presentation, I deserve this piece of plastic that will probably not last a season. I topped it off with the ole “but what tomatoes are you going to cut up with your knives??” line. It will only take about 300 tomato harvests to make up the price, but we were on cloud nine in the parking lot. We’ll see in a month if we regret it.
cuethebanjo.com 
I think the stock value would go down if you two wetre banned from Sam’s! 😉