Date Night

R romantically suggested we go out to eat last Saturday. Little did I know he meant at the Sam’s Club sample counters. Lucky for me, I had my camera because I could not believe the portion sizes. We’d have date night here every time if it were up to me.

[Side note, and this is just completely random. If anyone else gets frustrated that even though you want to use your credit card here — say for flight miles or something — and can’t, we devised a plan. You buy a Walmart giftcard for however much you think you’re going to spend and then use the giftcard in Sams. I know. We’re geniuses. This has two bonuses — 1) You get your credit card rewards and 2) it helps limit how much you spend. If you’re anything like us, as soon as you walk through the doors, you suddenly turn Donald Trumpish and start asking loudly why isn’t everything gilded, because you really prefer to buy things packaged in 14 kt gold…and for that matter, can’t you just buy the gold in bulk?]
So we wandered around a bit, looking for christmas presents and buying household items. Then we saw the crowds. You know where the good stuff is by the hustle and bustle near sample counters.

That guy in the brown jacket got seconds, I just know it.

People really crack me up though. As we were standing in line for our entree of buffalo wings (complete with celery and blue cheese dressing), we noticed two ladies continuously standing by the server. It was only when we got close enough that I heard the server say, “You need to stand in line” and one of the ladies said, “Well, we’ll just be after the girl in the scarf.”

That was me. And I was happy to be called a girl. One time a magazine seller came by our place and he basically insinuated that R looked 10 years younger than me. And by basically insinuating, I mean he said, “Wow, he looks ten years younger.”

So as we get our entree [yes, still in date mode], I turn to leave and behind me I heard the ladies point out exactly which wings they wanted to be served. I had to laugh! Weren’t these samples? Maybe they really were on a date.

We stopped by the furniture section to watch part of “Ice Age” and who knows how long afterwards, we decided it was time for dessert. Again, I scanned for hungry crowds and spotted one in the bakery. R and I literally gasped out loud when we saw the sample. A whole slice of cake?? We were in heaven. R really knows how to pull out all the stops when taking his lady out.

After piling a few more things into our cart and watching a little bit more of Ice Age, we meandered down this aisle only to find a lonely sample server. Why wasn’t anyone invading her personal space? Intrigued we went over, only to find that the reason she looked so happily alone was because it was… [silent whisper]….. healthy. I bet she raised her hand so fast when they were discussing ‘sample schedules’ at the weekly employee meeting because she knew no one would bother her.

We looked at her as if she were the person handing out toothbrushes on Halloween. We want fat and grease on our date night, thank you very much. But just like on Halloween, you never turn anything down…so we helped ourselves to some gala apples just because we could. Besides, we needed to cleanse our palates for…

Blissfully cutting up apples in silence.
right-out-of-the-toaster-oven chocolate chip cookies!! Now that’s what we’re talking about. R went back for seconds and I just missed getting a shot of him and that little boy get into a scuffle. Apparently the boy announced, “Steer clear, ears is here!” and pushed his way to the front. No one stands between R and his cookies…anyone west of the Mississippi knows that, little kid. [tumbleweed blows by]
Sams is a time-warp and I really don’t know how long we were there, but we crossed some major things off our to-do list. It was a good feeling to arrive home stuffed and accomplished.

One comment on “Date Night

  1. […] up my snotty nose and off we went, half hoping they’d be serving their samples like our last Date Night there. Along the way, R caught a sign for Chick-Fil-A and murmured how nice it would be to stop there. […]

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